Bad Influence Chapter 30
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I listened carefully to what Derek told me and I can’t help but go back to those times he pushed me away. I always thought he did that because he hated me but now I see he only did the because he wanted to protect me. He was also hurting this whole time I thought he was doing it intentionally.
I moved closer to him and bring my hand to touch his face. It’s not his fault, too much weight are on his shoulders and as the man of the house, everyone thinks he can handle everything. I use to think like that, someone I still do. I’ve never seen Derek vulnerable, weak or helpless.
“I understand you Derek and I don’t blame you. I blame mom. All my life, I’ve done everything to make her feel happy and now it’s her turn to make me feel happy” I cup Derek’s face with my two hands and landed a peck on his lips.
“You make me happy Derek, I’m living them behind and I choose you” I smile at him and pressed my lips again. I began kissing him, I wanted to push my tongue in but he wouldn’t let me, he didn’t respond to me.
My heart began beating so fast. Has he lost interest on me?
“You don’t want me anymore?” I force the question out of my mouth, my eyes are starting to get watery against my own will.
“No!” Derek cut me off immediately in a loud voice then I see his tensed body relax a little. “I just… Are you sure about what you’re saying? Wanting to be here with me, no hiding, just us?” He asked, some hint of worry in his eyes.
“How else can I prove to you of how sure I am?” I sigh.
“But what about Taylor. You two just made up, I don’t want to destroy your friendship with Taylor” He mutters and I roll my eyes, anger rising above me.
“Taylor has spent three years lying to me! She knew about our moms and I wasn’t going to lie to her about you, I just needed a little time to burst the news which I’m certain won’t last up to three years and I’m very sure if I hadn’t caught our moms in act, Taylor would have never told me!” I took in a deep breath to calm herself.
“Maybe she doesn’t want to tell you because she don’t wanna hurt you just the way you didn’t want to hurt her by not telling her about us. Now after everything, you’ve come back to me, I think Taylor won’t be happy about that” He says softly but it didn’t sit well with me. It made me mad, mad because part of me knows he’s right but won’t accept that.
For Derek sake I don’t care if I risk everything. I just want to be with him, I want us, I don’t want hiding and I don’t care of no one else. It makes me so selfish, I know.
“Are you choosing Taylor over me?” I ask in disappointment.
“No way, I’m just… I’m just worried okay, I don’t want to screw things up again. I want us to be perfect without having to worry about what any one think, I want to have you the right way” He sighs.
“So you’re saying me coming here is a mistake?” I chuckle. “I should have known better, I never learn. Goodbye” I stood up and headed for the door but before my hand could touch the door knob, I felt a hard body pressed against mine and a hot wet lips on my neck.
“I don’t want you to leave, I just want to make sure you’re fine and you’re not making all these decisions because you’re angry” He tells me.
“I’m fine, if I was really angry then what would I be looking for here, wanting to stay with you instead I’d be mad at you like how I’m mad at our moms and Taylor right?” I frown at him.
He nodded and turned me over, making me face him, his two hands cupping my cheeks. “I always thought it was silly of me but I love you Dove, I don’t know if it’s what you want or you still want me to use you” He suddenly say to me.
My heart skipped a beat.
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He loves me?
Wait he just said he loves me!!!!
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I certainly can’t believe that. I never thought I’d hear that from him ever. I’ve worry so much about making him know of my true feelings. I’m always scared he wouldn’t want anything to do with me after everything but turns out I’m wrong.
He loves me, he feels the same way too and I’m willing to give him everything I have. I’m willing to love him with everything in me. I don’t care if I’m a kid but I’d contribute in the best way ever to make us work.
I smile, widely, I held his hands on my face, keeping it there. “I love you too, I’m willing to spend my whole life with you” I smile, tears falling from my eyes.
I don’t know why I’m so emotional, I feel like I’m standing in the alter with my soon to be husband and we are saying our love vows to each other. Okay I imagine too much, maybe it’s because I’m too young but who cares, Derek is the one for me, he’s the one I want to marry anyways and no one can tell me otherwise.
Derek smiled- I’ve never seen him smile this wide before. This is the happiest I’ve ever seen him look. He loves me and I believe it.
“I love you” He says again.
TO Be Continued
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