Blame It On The Pain Episode 15
Thank you for choosing Siri as your online beautiful sweet story reading partner. Today we have “Blame It On The Pain Episode 15 Of Blame It On The Pain by Authoress Zion Stories Or Novels To Read with Siri.”
???? Blame It On The Pain Episode Fifteen:
And right nowโฆ she looks nervous. โAre you in some kind of trouble, Alyssa?โ
She quickly shakes her head. โNo. I mean, why would I be?โ
I shrug and lean back against the booth. Her response should put me at ease, but it doesnโt. โI have no idea. But if you were, you know you could tell me. Right?โ
Fear crosses over her face and before I can stop herโฆsheโs hopping out of her seat and running toward the exit.
I quickly track the waitress down and pay the bill before running after her.
When I finally step outside, I find her leaning against the side of the brick building facing the alleyway. Sheโs rubbing her temples and breathing frantically. My chest tightens and Iโm struck with the overwhelming feeling of wanting to wrap her in my arms and protect her from the world.
Instead, I gently reach for her arm. โHey,โ I say. โItโs okay. I wonโt let anything hurt you, Alyssa.โ
Her eyes spring open in both surprise and fear and she immediately pulls away from my touch. Itโs almost like sheโs a frightened animal and canโt comprehend that someone would show her an ounce of kindness.
Itโs utterly heartbreaking.
She pushes off the building and begins walking down the alley. โIโm sorry, but I have to go. I have to go home, now,โ she calls out.
I stay a few strides behind her. Iโm close enough that I can watch her make it to her car safely, but not so close to cause her to freak out again.
After she reaches her car, she pauses briefly. โThank you for lunch. Iโll find a way to pay you back for it.โ
I shake my head. โAbsolutely not. In fact, Iโm going to make sure you get paid from Luke. He should have never let that happen to you in the first place.โ
She worries her bottom lip between her teeth. โThatโs not necessary,โ she whispers. โI donโt want you getting into any fights on my behalf, but thank you anyway.โ
She slips inside her car and puts her key in the ignition.
I jog up to her. โWhen can I see you again?โ
She looks down at the steering wheel. โI donโt do relationships, Jackson.โ I open my mouth to protest but she stops me. โThat includes friendships. Iโve already let you in so much more than anyone else and I havenโt even known you for 24 hours.โ
I stuff my hands in my pockets. โMaybe thereโs a reason for that, Alyssa.โ
And there isโฆI just have no idea what it is yet.
All I know is that Iโm so drawn to her.
And itโs not just because sheโs incredibly attractive, either. Itโs so much more than that. I have this urge to just want to take care of her, and be there for her.
But most of allโฆI recognize the pain in her soulโฆbecause I live with it every day.
She puts the car in reverse and begins backing up. โIโll call you, Jackson,โ she says before she rolls up her window.
Itโs only after sheโs more than halfway down the block that I realize she never gave me her numberโฆand she doesnโt have mine.
BLAME IT ON THE PAIN : EPISODE 11 โ 20
Alyssa Pov
I grip the steering wheel and fight back the wave of nausea. I feel my pulse pounding in my ears and I swallow another big gulp of air.
What the hโll is the matter with me?
I mean, besides the obvious panic attack of epic proportions that Iโm going through at the moment.
Why in the world did I just tell a guy I hardly know such personal things about myself?
Granted, it was nothing he wouldnโt have found out about me sooner or later, but still.
Another round of tremors plague my body and with a cur$e, I pull over to the side of the expressway. The rain is coming down hard and big droplets splash against my windshield. I close my eyes and listen to the steady rhythm as it continues to fall.
After Iโm certain that the worst of the episode is over, I start the car and resume driving.
I wasnโt always like this.
Once upon a time, I used to be normal, happy, even.
And up until a few years ago, I had never experienced a true panic attack. In fact, I used to thrive and work best under pressure- something I must have inherited from my father.
My father.
I used to wonder if there was a specific number of tears I could shed that would bring back a missing piece of my heart.
Now, I know, there isnโt- because Iโm almost positive I must have cried them all during the entire year I was 10. Not a day went by where I didnโt wake up to a soggy pillow or fall asleep to one.
Then I turned 11. Thatโs when I learned to stop cryingโฆbecause tears wouldnโt bring him back. Tears were nothing but a complete waste of an emotion and they never solved anything.
I also learned, that sometimes; children are actually the ones to take care of their parents.
Needless to say- My mother didnโt handle my fatherโs death well.
Not that there really is a โwayโ to handle the sudden death of the man youโve loved since you turned 16โฆbut Iโm certain that becoming an alcoholic isnโt the best way to cope.
Especially when you have a child to raise.
However, we made the best of it.
She made sure to put a few bucks aside for food and bills before she blew it all on boozeโฆand I learned to effectively lie to the concerned neighbors and teachers; like when she didnโt show up to my recitals, or parent-teacher conferences.
Or even worse- when she did show up. Looking like a million bucks, slurring her words, and making an over dramatic spectacle of herself.
Those were the worst. Then after we went home she would apologize profusely for being a horrible mother while crying on my shoulder.
I, of course, being a good daughter- would assure her that she wasnโt hoโฆrrible and that I wasnโt angry with her. Then I would fix her something to eat and snuggle up with her on the couch while watching the news.
For whatever reason, it was her favorite thing to watch and the only thing to calm her down when she became really out of sorts. Probably because she didnโt have to feel so ho..rrible about the reality of her own fked up life while she watched other peopleโs lives falling apart every night.
As crazy as it sounds. I think subconsciously- the reason I wanted to become a newscaster was so that I could find a way to reach her and connect with her, in my own way.
The day my father died destroyed our happy life.
But the day John Travine entered our livesโฆdemolished our shitty one.
I was 15 when he began dating my mother. I have no idea how they met. I can only assume that it must have been at her favorite corner liquor store.
TO Be Continued