Blame It On The Pain Episode 68

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???? Blame It On The Pain SIXTY EIGHT:

“Ten years in his underground fi ght club. Which is a load of bull if you ask me, because I’ve seen law enforcement officials there before. H’ll, they place some of the highest bets. Anyway, the terms were one fight every two weeks, to ensure I could recover from any potential injuries.”

I grab a stool to sit down on. “I’d be appointed a coach to ensure I never skipped town and to keep me on a leash.”

“Ricardo,” she whispers.

I nod. “Yup. I’d also have to win at least 99% of my fi ghts.”

Her mouth hangs open. “That’s impossible. No one’s that good.”

“You are if it’s your life on the line.”

“You can’t be that good for 10 years straight Jackson! Your body will start to deteriorate, it will break down from all the constant wear and tear. There’s no way you can stay number one for 10 years straight. I’ve seen the guys you’re up against, they’re nothing but freak shows on steroids ”

Her lower lip trembles and I can see the tears in her eyes. “Oh, god. DeLuca knows this. He knows that you’ll most likely die in the cage before your contract is up. H’ll, he’ll probably make sure that it happens.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what happens. The only one who’s ever made it through his 10 years alive is Ricardo. The reason Tyrone and I are the best right now is because there’s no one else to compare us to. For the most part, guys usually die in the cage around the first year.

If he senses you’re weak, then he matches you up with an opponent he knows you can’t take. If you prove to be worthy, well, then you usually get the honor of dying in the cage around the 7th or 8th year. DeLuca likes to up the stakes by then. Trust me, it’s some real fked up sht.”

I look up to the ceiling because I can’t look at her when I say this. “And by your 7th or 8th year, it’s probably bittersweet because you’re so close to being out. You can taste it.

But, at the same time, the mentality of being nothing but a machine has gotten to you, so unless you have something on the outside that grounds you, something to go back to…there’s really no point in fi ghting anymore.

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Sometimes I think the guys don’t make it because they just give up. They get tired of feeling the pain that fuels them to survive. I know I am.”

“Lilly’s mu rder is how you survive, isn’t it? That’s the source of all your pain.”

“I have to relive every second of it every time I’m in that cage. It’s the only way.”

I want to tell her that she was the one who grounded me, who made it better for me, and that she was my something to look forward to, but there’s something more important that she needs to hear.

“I wanted to protect you, that’s why I didn’t tell you about DeLuca. I tried to let you go a few times, but I couldn’t do it. I need you like I need my pain to win my fi ghts.”

“What are we gonna do, Jackson?” A single tear falls down her cheek. “How do we make it through this?”

I don’t answer her, instead, I tear the tape off her wrists and hold her in my arms. She buries her face into my chest and sobs her heart out.

“I agree with Ricardo. Don’t go after DeLuca. It’s too risky and you’ll end up de ad. We’ll have to find another way. There has to be another way. I can’t and I won’t lose another man that I love to him.”

I stay silent because there is another way; the only way to stop him. I could care less about my own life, but I’m not letting him take hers.

She tilts her head up and I don’t even hesitate to crush her mouth against mine.

There are so many emotions filtering the energy running through us, there’s only one way to exert it right now.

I lift her up, place her on the counter and she wraps her Iegs around my waist. I wish I could be more gentle with her given the fact that I know she’s probably feeling sore from what happened earlier, but when she sits up, takes off my shirt and scratches her nails down my back, I lose my composure.

BLAME IT ON THE PAIN : EPISODE 61 – 70

“Thank you,” she breathes. “You have no idea how much I needed that. How much I needed to lose myself in you.”

I almost laugh because I’m pretty sure I should be thanking her for that experience. I pick her up and carry her into the bedroom. “You never have to thank me for that. Besides, I needed it just as much, maybe even more.”

I pull back the covers and curl up beside her. “I love you,” she whispers before she drifts off to sleep.

I kss the spot over her heart. “I love you,” I say before I stand up and reach for my cell phone.

I step out into the hallway and dial Ford’s number. He answers on the third ring. “I want to talk about that deal.”

TO Be Continued