Blame It On The Pain Episode 76
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???? Blame It On The Pain SEVENTY SIX:
(Jackson)
You would think Iβd be upset to find myself back in jail again, but Iβm not.
Iβve accepted it.
But it doesnβt mean that my heart doesnβt ache for Alyssa every secondβ¦or Momma, Tyrone, and Ricardo for that matter.
It was ironic that I ended up back here on Lillyβs birthday. I chose to ki ll DeLuca on that day because I thought it would bring me luck. Obviously, fate thought otherwise.
I took it as a sign that Lilly herself obviously wanted me to pay.
But I still donβt regret it. Even now.
Just like I wouldnβt have regretted taking Fordβs life or DeLucaβs. Although, after Ricardo visited me and explained what really happened between Lou-Lou, him, and DeLuca; I know that the right to ki ll DeLuca definitely belonged to Lou-Lou, and I hope that wherever she is nowβsheβs happy.
I was beyond pissed at him for having a gvn to my girlβs back, though, but I couldnβt really argue when he explained that if the roles were reversed I would have done the same.
You see, he trusted Alyssa not to ki ll Lou-Lou. Hβll, he even trusted DeLuca not to ki ll Lou-Lou due to his sick obsession with her. But he just couldnβt trust that Ford wouldnβt ki ll Lou-Louβ¦because heβs a manipulating fktard.
Those were his exact words.
However, I fully agree.
Especially looking at him right now from across the cafeteria in his orange jumpsuit.
The sight is so spectacular, I wish I could snap a picture and send it to Alyssa.
I thought I needed to protect her and make those who hurt her pay, but as it turns out; she got something even better than payback all on her own.
She got her own brand of justiceβ¦the way she needed to do it. Iβm even more in awe of her and the woman she is.
And I know the man who gets the honor and privilege of spending the rest of his life with her, will be the luckiest man in the world.
I just wish it could have been me.
But for now, thereβs one more thing I have to do to settle the score with Ford.
Not only is he serving time for what he did to Alyssa, but heβs also the main suspect in the murder of DeLuca now. He, of course, tried to tell them about Lou-Lou, but Alyssa and Ricardo along with me, are refuting his claims.
Which leaves all fingers pointing to him. The fact that he told Alyssa that he was planning on vacationing after taking DeLuca down and she got it on tape, doesnβt look good for him.
He keeps insisting that he called for backup and was acting as a member of the FBI, though; so I guess weβll have to see how his defense will pan out in the long run.
And although he could be facing up to 20 years for what he did to Alyssa, the reality is that he most likely wonβt serve that much time.
For all we know, he could be out in a few months depending on his trial. The only reason heβs sitting in jail now is because heβs a flight risk and the judge ended up being a friend of Alyssaβs dad.
Oddly enough, thatβs the saddest fact of all to come out in all this.
Alyssaβs father really was a stand-up guyβ¦but his worst quality was having Ford as a best friend and partner.
And had Ford not sunk his hooks into Alyssa right after his murder and coerced and scared her into lying about DeLucaβ¦she would have been responsible for bringing him down a long time ago.
Thatβs the way the world works, though, the bad guys win far more often than the good guys do.
But thereβs days like today. The rare exceptions to the rule.
And that exception is staring at me from across the cafeteria looking like heβs about to piss himself.
My guess, would be because rumor amongst us jailers isβ¦that 14 years ago, he pinned the mu rder of a prestigious officer on two rival gang members.
I look at him and give him a great big smile and he flinches. He was so freaked out about sharing a cell with me, he purposely h it his head against the sink and has been hauled up in the infirmary for the past few days.
But heβs out today.
And no matter where Ford turns, heβs up shts creek without a paddle.
The rival gangs want a piece of him. Any man with a teenage daughter wants a piece of him. Even DeLucaβs inside people want a piece of him, now that Ricardoβs taken over.
And then thereβs the guards.
The guards who heard the latest rumor. The guards who despise the dirty cop who backstabbed their own partner and set up his de ath. The guards who despise the dirty cop whoβs in here for sxually a$saulting their dead partnerβs teenage daughter.
Thatβs the funny thing about perceptionβ¦sometimes, it really is everything.
Heβs as skittish as a kitten when he makes his way over to me.
I manage to keep my joy in check. βHi, Ford. How are you doing on this beautiful day here at Rikers?β
βLook, Jackson. Iβm going, to be honest with you,β he says and I try not to laugh in his face. βI was hoping to bury the hatchet. Weβre cellmates andββ
βYou set me up.β I turn to face him. βWhy in the world would I ever help you?β
His shoulders slump. βI was only trying to do the right thing for her. You canβt blame me for loving her. I know you do, too. And face it, Jackson. You and I arenβt really all that different. Youβre a murderer derer. And Iβmββ
βYouβre what, Ford?β
He looks away. βI set people up for mur ders. The point is that weβre not good people. So donβt act like youβre so much better than me. But I think if we work together in here, we might stand a chance.β
I almost choke on my barely edible food. βIβm doing just fine on my own.β
He makes a sweeping motion with his hands. βYeah, right now. But sooner or later, youβre going to need a favor. Youβre going to need toββ
I stab my food with my fork. βMake a deal?β
He sits closer to me and it takes everything in me not to throw him off his chair. βYes. Youβre going to need someone in here who has your back. Youβre going to need someone in here who will take care of you.β
Thatβs when I laugh. βAre you offering to be my boyfriend, Ford?β
He makes a face. βWhat? No.β
βToo bad, thatβs the way it works in here.β
He looks ho..rrified. βYou canβt be serious. For Christβs sake, we were both in love with the same girl. β
βA girl that Iβm no longer going to seeβ¦thanks to you.β
He swallows hard. βSo, are you saying that you want me toββ
I give him a smirk. βBe my bch. Yeah. Thatβs exactly what Iβm saying.β
He stays silent. I can see him mulling his options and Iβm loving every second of this. I push my tray away. βYou know, Iβm still having trouble figuring out why youβre here talking to me. What exactly is it that you want?β
The funny thing is I already know exactly what he wants. He has no control, no power, heβs helpless.
Just like how he made Alyssa feel.
He looks around the cafeteria. βI need protection. You know what theyβll do to me in here. I need your help, Jackson.β
Thatβs when I stand up. βWhat are you willing to do for it?β I whisper.
He looks up at me and panic flashes across his face. βIβll do a-anything. Just help me. Please.β
I adjust myself in front of him and raise an eyebrow. βThen get on your knees.β
He looks around the cafeteria again. βRight here? Now?β he croaks.
βYup. I want everyone to know that youβre my bch.β
To my absolute delight. He slinks down in his chair until heβs on his knees. βNow close your eyes.β
After he closes them I back up and another inmate hands me a crowbar. Iβll have to thank Ricardo for paying off the guard for me.
βOpen your mouth for me, whβre.β
He winces and opens his mouth.
Thatβs when I thrust the crowbar in his mouth.
His eyes fly open and the look is priceless. Pure fear. Iβm pretty sure thereβs a puddle of his urine on the ground.
He starts choking and trembling. βYeah, you like that? Of course, you do, you little sIut.β
He tries to move his mouth away but I donβt let up. βYeah, you heard me. You worthless sIut.β
Thereβs cheering around the cafeteria and I give him a megawatt smile. βFigure your own way out of this mess, Ford. I suggest you whβre yourself around because thatβs all youβre good for. Now, get the fk away from me.β
I take the crowbar out of his mouth and hold it above his head because I want him to know what that feels like, too.
He scampers away and cowers.
Just like the vermin he is.
TO Be Continued