HOLY SEX Episode 13
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????โโค๏ธโ???? HOLY SEX EPISODE THIRTEEN: ????
You are 37 years old. No man is discussing anything serious with you. No man is asking you whether youโre buying or selling. No man has ever asked your hand in marriage.
But there is a rumour in town.
Every time something strange or worth gossiping about happens, girls would broadcast it with their Blackberries.
This new broadcast message you just received, this new rumour says that Pastor Samuel of Saving Grace Incorporated secretes holy milk. If he sleeps with a barren woman, she conceives. If he sleeps with a young lady looking for job, she gets a well-paying job. If he pours his holy milk into a young lady, she finds Mr. perfect in no time.
So when you receive the information on your Blackberry Messenger that Pastor Samuelโs semen has these unimaginable powersโwhile others laugh and curse and gossip and exclaim in surpriseโyou dress in your most alluring Sunday wear and walk into Saving Grace Inc.
You know that it is better to sleep with a pastor and be blessed with a husband than do nothing and remain unmarried. You convince yourself that even a virgin should sleep with a man to get what she wantsโjobs, marriage, and money, after all, what is free on earth? Nothing.
Saving Grace Incorporated is one of the most beautiful churches youโve ever seen. It looks like the inside of a presidential villa. The walls are covered with brown-colored tiles. The roof has chandeliers descending down like angels. Air-conditioners as tall as human beings adorn all the sides of the church magnificently, pouring its chilled air at every congregant, making them so comfortable that they would have to return Sunday after Sunday. The pews are painted brownish red and the seats are stuffed with foam.
You sit elegantly at the front row and wait to see this pastor whose stories are so popular that a book ought to be written about him. Youโre certain that such a book, if it were written, would make the number one slot on the New York Times bestselling chart.
When the pastor walks into the podium, your jaw drops.
He is a gigantic man, tall, with huge shoulders. His face is square shaped, same as his jaw. His complexion looks like he has just been immersed in viscous chocolate. When he says: โPraise the lord, Church!,โ your heart skips and you know that you have found a lover.
TO Be Continued