Tears Of A Helpless Woman Chapter 18

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???? Tears Of A Helpless Woman Chapter EIGHTEEN:

“Yes its me” Atusaye said as he rushed to hug me.

Tears had filled my eyes but I tried hard to fight them back.

“Where have you been?” Atusaye asked with a shaky voice, I could tell the hurt in his voice.

At this point I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore and my face was now wet.

“Can we sit somewhere and talk?” he said

We walked to the business park hand in hand before settling down to talk.

“Can I get you anything?” He asked me.

“Just water” I responded.

“You look so beautiful, I can’t believe how life has turned out for you” he said.

I looked at his finger to spot a ring but there was nothing and not even a sign to show that he has one. He was still very handsome and even more now.

“Mwansa I am not mad at you but I just want to know what was going through your mind when you left me like that. How could you?” he asked.

I could sense the pain in his eyes as he questioned me and I knew how much I had hurt him. My heart crushed hearing him say those words and tears flowed even more.

“Mwansa are you married, engaged or seeing someone? I really don’t want to keep you here against your wish” he said.

“How’s Mrs. Martin’s? Hasn’t she been mad at me?” I asked.

“No, on the contrary she was so relieved that you did not die in the fire. The zesco pole behind your apartment caught fire which led to the burning of your house. She thinks you were afraid of being blamed and that’s why you ran away. She looked for you tirelessly”

“I met her with your sisters and I was so relieved to know that she was OK. But I hid away from her” I said.

“Clara is now married and she too has never stopped asking about you” he said.

I immediately connected with the time I met them shopping for a wedding.

“Where is Claudine?” I asked him as tears rolled down even more.

“She is married now… To Mr. Martins friend. She really did it to hurt me..” he said.

“To hurt you?” I asked asked him as I took in a deep sigh of relief and stretched my hands across the table, Atusaye held on to my hands and looked into my eyes.

“Who was the lucky man who stole your heart?” He asked.

I was quite uncomfortable and I think he noticed.

“Its fine just talk to me, I am ready to hear everything” he said.

“A wonderful woman took me in…” I started.

“Go ahead dear and tell me everything…” He encouraged me.

My heart was heavy but he had to know the truth, so slowly but surely I narrated everything without leaving out any detail.

Atusaye listened attentively without showing any form of emotion, I didn’t know what was going through his mind.

“Mwansa this is your life we are talking about. He has done a lot for you and I just can’t come and snatch you away from him. I can’t.. He has been everything you needed” Atusaye said.

“But I don’t want you to ever think I stopped loving you” I said as i cried bitterly.. I put my head on the table and buried my face in my arms while I wept.

“Please calm down Mwansa, I believe everything happens for a reason. I wish you never went away but then again I cant forget to appreciate what this guy has done for you… Perhaps you may never have been what you are today if you stayed with me. I was in a lot of confusion and I know that’s not what you needed ” Atusaye said.

“Atusaye.. I was afraid I didn’t know what to do..”

“I know Mwansa and I can’t hold that against you.. It had to be fate. I gave myself time after Claudine and I split, I didn’t want to rush into anything. Truthfully speaking I kept hoping you would walk through the gate and return to your job” he said before posing. I saw the pain in his eyes. Now I really knew he meant what he said, now he sounded more genuine more than the time I knew him.

“I waited for you.. I prayed for you. Claudine left because I couldn’t hide it anymore.. My heart needed you. My sisters knew and though they were shocked at first, they eventually accepted.” He said as tears lingered in his eyes.

“Am a man, I shouldn’t cry” he giggled as he tried to lighten the mood

“I love you Mwansa and I still do. Everyday and every night I think of you. The only thing I managed to rescue from your house was the perfume bottom I gave you on your birthday and it’s been with me” he said

“I use that perfume to date. It reminds me of you” I replied.

“I’m sorry but I can’t just let go of you Atusaye. I want to be with you…” I said.

Atusaye quickly shook his head

“No dear. Listen to me, that man has sacrificed everything for you. Maybe my role was just to bring you closer to where you are today. We can’t fight destiny at least I know that it will be a curse upon my life if I take you away from him. You will be ok, just try to love him it wont be hard.”

“Are you sure you loved me? if you did then you will fight for me.” I said.

“No Mwansa its different, he has done so much for you. You can’t give up on that. At least now I know and I can have closure. If it makes you feel any better then please replay my dedication to you again. Do you remember it?” He asked me.

“Yes I do..” I responded reluctantly.

Atusaye was talking about Israel’s track “hold on”.

I was crushed and torn but he was right. I didn’t want to accept it but he was very right. How could I leave Shane and walk out on everything Aunty Bertha did for me?

Atusaye and I hugged before walking back to the car park.

“Can I at least have your number so I can be in touch” I whispered as we hugged.

“If you promise me that it won’t disturb your relationship” he said

Atusaye and I exchanged numbers before we said our goodbyes. I could tell he acted really brave for my sake, but he was broken inside. I really didn’t know he loved me that much.

I drove back to the hotel without even getting what I needed in town.

Shane had arranged a special dinner for us and I showered before going out to join him.I was very sad inside but I had to put up a brave face as I remembered Atusaye’s words. He wanted me to be happy so I had no choice but to be. Nothing hurts more than being away from your true love.
TEARS OF A HELPLESS WOMAN CHAPTER 19

“Honey are you OK?” Shane asked me.

“I’m ok honey. I’m just tired” I responded.

“You’ve barely touched your food” he said.

I just lost it and tears ran down my face.

“Honey what’s wrong?” He asked me again.

My heart bled to think that he was suffering for what he didn’t know. I was crying for someone else and here he was comforting me.

“I just can’t believe how life has changed.. God has been too good to me” I lied.

“Awwwww dry your tears. I love you honey and I promise to spoil you in California” he said

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Shane and I checked into first class in readiness for my flight on a Saturday morning. I was so happy and I couldn’t wait to be in a different world. All through the flight Shane told me about his place and showed me a lot of pictures.

Flying was something else and to think that I had to be on the plane for hours was just crazy.

When we landed it was dark but the lighting alone was clear that I was in a different world. It was just unbelievable stepping into the white mans land.

“God you have allowed my eyes see the beauty of your creation.. I Mwansa a simple house help” I said as tears flowed.

We checked into a beautiful hotel although we had separate rooms. Shane and I had no intentions of being intimate.

The following day I was very tired and I continued sleeping until afternoon when we went to view some places. I was very happy to meet Shane’s friends and knowing his side of life made me feel special.

I got embarrassed a couple of times as things were just so different but thanks to Shane who was supportive, I was never out of place

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Going to Vegas wasn’t part of the plan but as usual Shane is full of surprises. By the time we clocked 3weeks I had been to Hollywood, Vegas and to top it all we made a flight to Italy just to visit within the holiday before going back to California.

I really thought I had it all … I actually almost had it all but through all this I was broken inside. I couldn’t just forget Atusaye.

Even though Shane got me so much, my heart longed for that one man who gave me love. Atusaye showed me love before I knew any other

One morning as I was just from my morning work out Shane told me we had a trip to make. I wasn’t sure what else to expect as I had seen it all. I had shopped from the best stores and even dined in the best restaurants. So what could be better?.

“Honey just tell me where we are going I can’t guess anymore” I said.

“Trust me my love, have I ever disappointed you?” He asked me.

So once again I was packing and this time I had 7 bags of clothes and shoes. We flew on a private plane to a city that was still unknown to me until we landed.

“Welcome to Paris? Are we in Paris? I asked Shane with excitement.

” yes honey we are” he said.

I screamed and jumped on his masculine body.
Everyone at the airpot must have thought I was out of my mind.

“Honey our holiday will end here before we go back home” he said.

We checked in to a
lovely hotel and as usual maintained our separate rooms.

Shane told me he had a surprise for me but I wondered what it was. Being in Paris was a surprise on its on. Really what could top that?.

I was in my room watching TV and updating shots on Instagram when I got a delivery.

I didn’t order anything but the delivery lady was positive that it was mine.

“OK mum let me at least check it before I sign.” I responded.

The parcel was in a big box and inside was s black laundry bag and it looked like an expensive dress.

“Am I going to meet the Queen?” I asked as I giggled.

I just finished unzipping the bag and my mouth was now jaw drop.

“Its a wedding dress” I muttered.

“Yes it is madam and if you check the other box must have jewellery” she said.

I quickly opened it and just like she said i found the expensive jewellery.

I couldn’t believe what was happening and I quickly rushed to his room only to find his bed decorated in petals with the words “will you marry me?”

As usual tears rushed down as Shane appeared from the bathroom and knelt down before me.

Shane pulled out a box from his pocket and said to me.

“Honey.. If you accept this ring on your finger I will be the happiest man on the planet. Will you marry me Mwansa?. He said.

I wanted to stage a funeral to mourn Atusaye and I really wanted to escape but I once escaped and what happened?

I shut my eyes as tears fell down my eyes.

” yes I will marry you” I said slowly.

Shane slipped the ring on my finger and he hugged me really tight.

“I love you” he whispered.

I couldn’t lie to God or myself so I avoided saying those words back to him.

“I thank God for you” I said.

“I wanted us to have a surprise wedding here and everything was underway but mum wasn’t pleased so I guess we will wed home in zambia” he said.

I was so relived I think if Shane threw a surprise wedding I would have just died.

“But I promise to give you a Paris wedding afterwards” he said.

I took a deep sigh.. Not of relief but of thought. It’s funny how freedom is not really free.

I was now carrying a ring equivalent to two mansions on my finger and the thought of Atusaye had to fade. I had to accept fate.

I had to give up. Shane was too much. He was just too much. Atusaye did not have a chance. Or was I wrong?..

See you on my wedding day. Zambian here we come…

TO Be Continued